Smoosh Cake Disaster 2013. Then a catch up.

Noelle just turned one on November 6th! To celebrate her going from this tiny helpless little creature:

To this adorable little girl who is an absolute ham for attention:

we threw her a birthday bash! Complete with a pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving dinner (turkey, ham, stuffing, all the works) with all of her most adoring of fans crowded around her to celebrate!

Seriously, she loves being the center of attention.

The decorations were fall festive and a strung up and sitting about, it was perfect. The food was all ready and hot and delicious. The company was all great. The mingling was good, the chatter was happy. Bellies were full, guests were eagerly awaiting dessert. No one was more eager for cake than Noelle. 

You see, during the past year I have severely limited Noelle's intake of sugar. She has only had nibble of cake and cookies. This was hard to maintain since I bake tons of treats all the time. I wanted to make her first birthday special for her. I wanted to make sure her smoosh cake, that all kids get on their first birthday, was her first in-depth foray into cake.

So I planned for weeks her cake. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just a chocolate or vanilla cake. Let other kids have that simple confection. My little girl has a mother that bakes delicious treats. I was determined she would have something unique and delicious. Something she could look back on decades from now and think "Hell yes mom. Hell yes".

I decided on a pumpkin cake with a cinnamon Swiss buttercream frosting. Yeah, take a second and let it sink in. Pumpkin. Cinnamon. Swiss. Buttercream. Amazing. Yeah, I know.

So I had her little cake and the matching larger cake for the rest of the guests. I had baked the cake layers on Thursday so that I could make the frosting and frost it Friday in a relaxed time and not be rushed. It so never works out. I was running all around on Friday and didn't get around to making the frosting until late Friday night. I frosted the cakes, was unhappy, scraped it off, frosted it again, was unhappy, scraped it off, frosted it again and this went on and on.

Finally I was exhausted and decided they looked as good as they would get. I went to take my friend who had been keeping me company home and when I got home I saw that my husband had tried some of the sampler cake (I had extra batter and frosting so made a tiny cake on the side for him). I value his opinion so this conversation happened:

Me: What did you think of the cake?

Tom:....*pause*....it was... buttery.

Me: Fuck. Now I have to redo it all in the morning.

You see, I am my biggest critic. Tom is my biggest fan and he always loves everything I make, so for him to PAUSE and then say it was buttery I knew it was all fucked up. I had tried a new frosting recipe. I'd never made it before and it did call for 3 pounds of butter. I knew it was buttery, but I figured with the cake it would tone it down and compliment each other. So I went to bed positive that I had to rebake the cake the next morning. 

I was hell bent on remaking them. I woke up with a mission. My aunt, who was in from Georgia and staying with me refused to allow it. She convinced me, along with my husband that the cake was delicious and it was all going to be amazing, and I was being crazy. My husband said it was his fault, he shouldn't have paused, and blah blah blah I didn't rebake the cakes.

Cut to the party that night. Know that I have been working on the cakes since Thursday and didn't sleep any the night before because of the cakes. Now read this:

As Tom and I posed for pictures behind Noelle, who was adorable in her highchair waiting eagerly for the cake, I held the cake in front of her, just out of her reach. Then I felt the cake board begin to bend. Then this happened:

The cake fell off the cake board. Noelle instantly started screaming. 

If you need it from another angle:

Soak that in guys. The most important thing that happens at a first birthday party...went smoosh.

So then we picked it up off the floor and I tried real hard not to cry or cuss. 

Noelle got a smoosh slice of cake instead of her adorable little cake.

I just wasn't the same.

Smoosh cake, take two! *Please note Noelle wiping tears from her eyes and feel your heart melt a little.

Noelle seemed to enjoy the cake anyways. I almost had a total melt down, but Noelle handled it all in stride.

Apple Pies in a Jar- these were the favors I gave out at the party.

And now the catch up:

Man. I am terrible at posting this year. I'm going to try and be better from here on out, but I can't make any promises. The last thing I posted I was whining about being fired and whatnot. So to briefly touch on that, I'm still unemployed and have started saying I'm a stay at home mom, because it makes me feel better than just saying, "yeah, no one finds me employable and hasn't for the past 5 months". 

Saying I'm a stay at home mom sounds nurturing and stable. Brings to mind home grown veggies and hand made dresses, when actually it's a lot of building block towers and having Noelle knock them down and a lot of Gerber mashed foods for her and a lot of showering at 3:30 in the afternoon for me. Not really a Thomas Kinkade portrait.

I will say this though, I have loved watching Noelle go from crawling around to standing to walking and now to running around. I've been able to witness so many amazing achievements she has made and I wouldn't trade that for anything. These are things that I would have missed for the most part. Memories that I never would have made. So all the financial struggles and the emotional turmoil aside, this has been the best year of my life.