Self Promotion

Right now, my stomach is making these crazy growling sounds. It's been going on all day and is very disconcerting for me. What is happening in there?!

Anyways, it's because of my stomach growling that I got the inspiration for this post. It made me wonder if I was hungry, I'm not. If I WAS hungry though, what would I want? So I started thinking about my dinner plans, which since tonight is my usual trivia night, but has morphed into my stay at home and be completely alone for a few blessed hours night, will probably just be sauteed squash and zucchini with corn on the cobb. Simple, easy, delicious. Then I started thinking about what I'd want for dessert if that were an option (it's not) and then I started thinking that I needed to plan my menu for next weeks Uptown Umbrella Market.

I know you guys aren't really in my area, but I'd sure like it if you'd take a minute to maybe "like" my Facebook page- Tasty Treats by Jess. I can't link to it, I'm at work and Facebook is blocked here. Too distracting they say, to which I say BAH. I crack out all day on the news sites and they're worried about social networking. Imbeciles. 

Anyways, here's an adorable picture of my nugget, Noelle at last weeks Umbrella Market. She was riding a high of pink lemonade and then she crashed:

I have a baking muse. It's Our Greene Acre. I get my farm fresh eggs from them and the most delicious jams ever. Their jams inspire me. Peach Habanero jam? Makes a delicious peach habanero pound-cupcake with peach habanero buttercream. Peach Vanilla jam? The greatest Peach Danish cookies you can imagine. Spiced Blueberry jam? That makes this:

An amazing lemon cupcake with spiced blueberry buttercream. Ah-mah-zing.

Strawberry Danish cookies with a chocolate ganache drizzle. Seriously though, the peach vanilla version of these that I made are my favorite thing I've ever made. It's absolutely perfect. Probably because the dough is half cream cheese. Can't go wrong with cream cheese. 

And completely unaffiliated with Our Greene Acre is my birthday cake krispy treats. My bff4eva sent me the recipe and kids go bananas over it. Also, I'm a big kid and enjoyed the hell out of it. 

I'm also obsessed with Mr. Butters peanut butter- it's all natural and home made. No added sugars or anything. It's perfect for baking. I keep hoping they make a Facebook page or website so I can promote them, because they are good people. 

So, if you're feeling frisky (and I know you are) like my page. If you're feeling friskier, check out my website Tasty Treats by Jess.

The Umbrella Market 2013

I am currently sailing the smooth turquoise waters of the Bahamas. While I'm away cross your fingers my cruise doesn't turn into Poop Cruise 2.0 and check out my presheduled postings!

So, I mentioned before that I have started a little side business baking tasty and delicious treats. Well, while I haven't become Martha Stewart popular, I am getting more business than I expected. Weekly I've had requests for cupcakes or cakes. There's a popular little market that pops up in my town on Wednesdays during the summer. 

I was lucky enough to be chosen to sell by tasty baked goods. So, you'll be able to find Tasty Treats by Jess Wednesday evenings starting the 22nd of May and every other week (unless I get frisky and choose to go every week) in Uptown Greenville! 

I am so excited. Ridiculously excited. I'm a long ways away from a cute little store front, but I'm a lot closer than I was when I was just talking about it. 

Dream Study: Death by Cupcake

The names have been changed, to protect anyone from being prosecuted because of my insane dreams.  

I have some pretty amazing friends and last night I dreamed about all of us in our finest form. It's all totally plausible, so I'm going to put my dream out there now for you to all enjoy (or not enjoy, whatevs). 

Death by Brown Sugar

So I had this dream the other day that I made some cupcakes for my friend Nina's nurse co-worker, let's call her Marge. I made the cupcakes for Marge and a few days later she comes up to me saying the cupcakes were gross and she can tell I used a low quality brown sugar in them. 

This greatly offended me since I was, for some reason, really proud of my brown sugar. So I told my friend Nina and her husband P8 (Pate) while my sister other friend Kay was there listening. P8 got deeply offended for me and he killed Marge with an ax. 

We were all totally cool with this. We went about our business satisfied that the lady that dare criticize me was dead. 

I guess P8 didn't dispose of the body well or something, because it didn't take anytime before the police were rounding us up to question and it then occurred to us that we hadn't bothered to work out an alibi and there was no way we could call/text/speak to each other since we were being watched. The police also wanted us to all bring in our brown sugar as evidence. 

I don't know what our fate was, I woke up before it could be determined. However, let this be a lesson. #1 don't talk shit about my baking. I will have you killed. #2 if you're going to commit a crime, get your stories straight before the police have a chance to question you. 

AGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Please excuse me while I simultaneously hyperventilate and scream uncontrollably. I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. It is possible to do both at the same time. 

AAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Thank you for being so patient while I have a semi-meltdown. 

So I have officially started my little side business: Tasty Treats by Jess

I have business cards and a website: http://getinthekitchen.webs.com/ Also, a facebook page "Tasty Treats by Jess" just search that if you're interested. 

I have 1 dozen cupcakes for a birthday tomorrow and I have three dozen cupcakes, a sheet cake, and two round cakes due Friday. The two round cakes JUST NOW got ordered. Two dozen of those cupcakes, the sheet cake, and one round cake need Easter decorations.

There's just one of me, guys. I am going to be so busy tonight and tomorrow night getting these bad boys done. 

I'm super excited, I'm overwhelmed. I'm a little surprised by the amount of treats I have due this week. I feel like it may be beginners luck and an Easter rush. I'd love for it to continue and for this to be the beginning of an actual business. 

This summer I plan to spend every other Wednesday at the Umbrella Market in Uptown Greenville peddling my goods to my lovely little community. Hopefully, if they accept me as a seller- I have my application with them and I haven't heard back yet. If they do accept me as a seller, that would be a great way to get my name out there. 

It's too soon for me to think about things too much. I don't want to get my hopes up. I'm just saying, I may already have a color scheme in mind for a cute little cozy shop somewhere. I'm much too unsure of myself to allow myself to dwell on it too long. 

One of the best things ever though, was the other day my friend Nassim, she told me my current desk job tolling away for The Man, didn't suit me. That was awesome. I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks that. 

Anywhoo, if my treats turn out well enough, I'll definitely be posting some pics of them here. 

Also, GAME OF THRONES GUYS! GAME OF THRONES!! STARTING SO SOON!