Thanksgiving. Again.

Tomorrow is the big day. Thanksgiving. Love the food, hate the awkward. And with my family, there is always a lot of awkward to be had. I'm sure that I'm not alone in that, I'm sure you guys also have your share of awkward family time. 

I think that's just family though. Cram a bunch of people that are only connected by blood or marriage together into a house once a year when you spend the rest of the year actively avoiding each other and it's sure to be awkward. It's hard to avoid everyone all at once unless you lock yourself into a far removed closet. Which actually, my cousin Gary did that every year while I was growing up, he'd hide in a bedroom.

Now though, since I'm married, we've had to incorporate the husband's family and mine together. Both of our families are weird, but in totally different ways. His parents are in their 60s, upper middle class, straight up Leave It To Beaver types. My parents are in their 50s, they came of age in the very stoned 70s and are pretty spacey and boozy.

Husband's family

My famly

For years growing up Thanksgiving was always at my great-aunts house with everyone piling up there. Now she has passed away, her daughter and my grandmother still live there, and we still carried on with the family gatherings for a bit after my aunt passed away. Then a few things happened pretty much all at once (well, it was over the span of a year, but since we never see each other.... you got me) my cousin that owned the traditional gathering home started feuding passively with my mother's brother (fuck him, I don't call him my uncle), I got separated from my husband and my mother's brother started harassing me about being separated and not sticking with my marriage just because I was "bored" as he said and I jumped all over his ass, my mother's brother's wife refused to come to any more family functions. Then the husband and I got back together and my mother's brother tried to start more shit the next year, my cousin was still feuding with him, suddenly my cousin couldn't get off work for the holiday anymore, blah blah life happened.

Long story short now we're gathering with my husbands family minus my mother's brother and his family.

Cats for Sale: Price? I'll pay you.

I have 3 cats and a pug. My pug is fabulous and is never an issue (except for how much she loves to gnaw on my friend Lesley's elbow and hump her arm), but my cats are a damn nuisance. Seriously. The husband and I have been talking and we really need to get rid of 2 of the 3. I'm not doing Craigslist List, I'm not taking them to the pound, I'm not dropping them at the Humane Society. I really want a good home for them.  

Rosalie used to be a big problem for us. She was great when I first rescued her from the sidewalk in the rain in the middle of December a few years ago. Then she moved in with my original 2 cats and my oldest cat made her miserable. Rosalie refused to go out into public spaces and she spent about 10 months living in my closet. She lost weight, she was always alone. When she'd venture into public space, Grace would spot her and corner her. Rosalie lost a lot of fur. During this time, due to her trauma she would also pee all over the place. For the past year, she's stopped doing that. She's gained weight, she's calmed down, she's not food aggressive, she uses the litter box like a champ. Not to mention she's so sweet and so loving. She cuddles really well. 

Grace is the other that needs to go. Grace is my oldest kitty. She's 6 now- she is large and in charge. She's very territorial, but actually very sweet. One on one, she's probably my favorite cat to spend time with. Recently, in the past month or so, she's isolated herself into the office and hasn't really left except to go to the bathroom. Rosalie, she started pushing back when Grace would try to intimidate her. As a result of Rose pushing back, Grace has retreated and she's miserable. She's lost weight, she's depressed, she's spazy. She loves to be petted, she loves attention and loving, she just doesn't want anyone (human or animal) to see her being loved on and liking it. She will roll over and let you blow on her belly, she'll nuzzle you while you pet her. However, she'll never approach you for the attention and petting she wants. You have to go to her. 

Bella, well other than throwing up her food all the time from eating too much, she's pretty great and she's not an option. She stays with us for the long haul. She'll even lay and let Noelle pet her and grab her tail and not swat at her. 

I hate the idea of getting rid of any of my animals. They really are like family to me, but we've got too much going on. A baby, a pug, and 3 cats is too much in a 3 bedroom apartment. I refuse to just let them go to any random person, so I suspect it'll take a while before they do go to a new home. 

In the mean time I'm taking applications- WHO WANTS A KITTY??

Overly concerned mother.

I always said I wasn't going to push my child too hard when it came to school. Obviously, I am going to insist she do well and I'm going to make her go to college, no choice in that, but where she wants to go, what she wants to do I am going to leave open to her to decide. I figured I'd be that laid back mom. The one that wants the best for her child and trusts her to make her own decisions. 

I always said that public schools were the way to go. I turn my nose up at private schools. My husband was a product of a tiny private school. He is STILL shell-shocked by the world sometimes. My BFF's husband was 1 of 4 people in his graduating class and he is afraid to leave the county, I kid you not. I want Noelle to know the world. To know and interact with different races, groups, cultures. 

That being said, I am hell bent on getting Noelle into a charter school. My husband's nephew and niece are in one and they started learning Spanish and Chinese in kindergarten. I mean, hell yes. It's like a public private school and I'm all over it. I've always heard that they are extremely hard to get into and competitive. I heard tales of lotteries and drawings and wait lists. 

So I just called a local charter school and had this conversation:

Me: Hi, I was just wondering how soon you needed to fill out the application to enroll your child.

Office administrator: As soon as possible. 

Me: Oh! Ok then, how do I go about sending in the application to you? I got one on your website.

Office administrator: *rattles off fax number* What grade will your child be entering this fall?

Me: Um, this fall? None. 

Office administrator: Excuse me? 

Me: None??

Office administrator: I don't understand ma'am. How old is your child?

Me: 7 months

Office administrator: *silence* 7 months?

Me: Yes....

Office administrator: BURST OF UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER 

Me: **dies a little**

Office administrator: *In between laughter*- Call back in 5 years.

Me: But I heard it was really difficult to get in! I heard there was a lottery and waiting lists!

Office administrator: No wait list is that long.

So. I did that today. Guys, I just want my kid to be well educated. 

Dream Study: Death by Cupcake

The names have been changed, to protect anyone from being prosecuted because of my insane dreams.  

I have some pretty amazing friends and last night I dreamed about all of us in our finest form. It's all totally plausible, so I'm going to put my dream out there now for you to all enjoy (or not enjoy, whatevs). 

Death by Brown Sugar

So I had this dream the other day that I made some cupcakes for my friend Nina's nurse co-worker, let's call her Marge. I made the cupcakes for Marge and a few days later she comes up to me saying the cupcakes were gross and she can tell I used a low quality brown sugar in them. 

This greatly offended me since I was, for some reason, really proud of my brown sugar. So I told my friend Nina and her husband P8 (Pate) while my sister other friend Kay was there listening. P8 got deeply offended for me and he killed Marge with an ax. 

We were all totally cool with this. We went about our business satisfied that the lady that dare criticize me was dead. 

I guess P8 didn't dispose of the body well or something, because it didn't take anytime before the police were rounding us up to question and it then occurred to us that we hadn't bothered to work out an alibi and there was no way we could call/text/speak to each other since we were being watched. The police also wanted us to all bring in our brown sugar as evidence. 

I don't know what our fate was, I woke up before it could be determined. However, let this be a lesson. #1 don't talk shit about my baking. I will have you killed. #2 if you're going to commit a crime, get your stories straight before the police have a chance to question you.