One Day and a New Year

Let me just say that today is my first day back to work in 2 months. That means I'll get back to blogging normally. That's right, 2 months off work and I can barely find the time to blog. Babies take up a lot of time yo, don't judge.

TWO POSTS IN ONE

Miss One Day

I want to start this by saying that last week I received word that I had lost a friend of mine. Some of you that read this may  have known her. She was Miss One Day, AKA, Misty. When I got the email it was a rare alone moment for me. Noelle was asleep and my hubby had just ran out to the store to pick up some random missing ingredient for something I was making. I sat on my couch and I just kept reading the email over and over again. Misty had passed away Christmas Eve.

I didn't know how to mourn her. I had never met Misty IRL and I momentarily felt silly sitting there crying over someone that so many people would say I didn't even know. My husband came home and I was standing in the kitchen confused. I didn't know what to do. He could tell something was wrong with me, and I just said "My friend died" and I stopped and said, "my blogging friend". He put he arm around me and he said "it's ok to cry, she was your friend". And that's good, because I was crying.

Misty was my friend. She was a bright light in many many peoples lives, need proof? Go check out Band Back Together's tribute to her. She was one of the most optimistic people that I have ever encountered in my life and she had more reason than most to be negative and drown her sorrows in self pity. She didn't do any of that. She had a lot of medical problems, she was in constant pain, and she didn't let any of that get her down. Sure she had moments, but she was always to bright and positive and fun and energetic. We shared a short lived weight loss blog with a group of other ladies, which quickly fell by the wayside. During it's short-lived venture, she was encouraging and supportive. We'd text each other from time to time for support or just to bitch and moan, and not necessarily about the weight loss fiasco.

I know we are all in this fairly small blogging community together, and a lot of us don't consider people we encounter here to be people we know IRL. The thing is a lot of you I do consider friends and you effect me in my real life. Misty was one of those people that effected me on a personal level. It was more than ok for me to mourn her passing. The thing is though, she's free of pain now and I take solace in that. The world lost a bright, vibrant woman. I can't imagine what her husband and family must be going through.

I don't really understand the IRL thing. Hell, one of my blogging friends threw me a baby shower with a sparking grape juice pyramid (in lieu of champagne) and that seriously made me ecstatic- IN MY REAL LIFE. So, yeah, I don't think I can look at it as online life and real life anymore.

2012 into 2013

2012 was quite the year. I rang in 2012 with 2 resolutions, or well, 1 resolution and 1 aspiration. First, I resolved to quit smoking. Second, I aspired to become pregnant (hence the decision to quit smoking). For the first time EVER I accomplished what I set out to do! I smoked my last cigarette New Year's Eve 2011. By March 12th I was discovering I was pregnant and by November I was cuddling my sweet Noelle. In between all of that I started in a new position with my company, went on vacation, made new friends, lost some friends, and I learned a lot about myself. It was a damn good year.

With the holiday's officially behind us, I need to officially go on a diet. Ignore the empty donut package in my trash. Last year I went on a diet, this diet was quickly rendered useless with the arrivial of a fetus. So while I wanted to lose weight, since my ass is fat, I ended up gaining something like 55-60 pounds.

This was counter productive.

Now I have motivation. Real motivation. I have my little nuggie, Noelle to think of. I want to be able to run and play with her. Romp around amusement parks and keep up with her as she grows.

I also have a family cruise to prepare for coming up in May, however the amount I need to lose is pretty much the equivalent of another grown normal sized woman. Again, I'm fat and just got fatter. Clearly I can't lose enough to really matter by May, but I can make steps towards a long term goal.

I did have an amazing holiday season with Noelle. She's brought so much joy to me, even when I'm getting up in the middle of the night to feed and change her or when she's screaming. She's beautiful and sweet and cuddly and so smart already and strong. She's been holding her head up since day one- granted not for extended periods of time- but for a good long while she can. I really didn't think it was possible to love someone or something so much.