There's a crack in your path!
The other day I was at work. It was about 2:30 in the afternoon. I was outside walking back into the building because my husband was awesome enough to bring me a sprite with cherry add-in from Sonic. There was this girl walking in front of me in this hot hot heels.
This girl, I don't really know her. We've spoken in passing, I'm not even sure what department she's in. I just know she's kind of a bitch. Always scowling at the world. Always has a smushed up lemon face. She's always kind of snappy- at least that's the impression I got.
So I was watching her shoes while she was walking. They were these towering stilettos. A nude color as the base, hot pink and bright teal wrapping around the sole. Just a really gorgeous heel. I was in shoe lust.
I noticed a crack in the sidewalk up ahead (I noticed it because more than once I've been a victim to it). I realized at the rate she was walking and the space between her steps that unless she noticed the crack herself (not likely since she was texting up a storm) her hot heel was going to go directly into the crack and she was going to eat it. (What math is that? What math did I use in my head?)
Unless I said something she was going down.
I thought it over for a split second and I did what I'd want someone to do for me. I hollered the most dramatic thing I could muster:
"THERE'S A CRACK IN YOUR PATH!!"
Well, she missed the crack because she turned around to look at me like I was a lunatic.
I should have let her eat it.