Things That Happened While I Was Sick

As I sit here, hacking up a lung or two and more than a little phlegm (I'm sexy and I know it), I am trying to come up with a witty topic of discussion. I don't think I have much. I spent all last week sick and I'm still suffering through a lasting cough. 

Let's discuss things that happened. 

You know what, let's discuss Anne Hathaway first. 

Anne won the Academy Award for best supporting actress this past Sunday and gave her last fake ass insincere acceptance speech of the awards season. Thank Cheesus. I never had issue with her before. I enjoyed most of her movies, I think she's pretty, she definitely has a hot body (when it's not emaciated for a role), and she KILLED it in Les Miserables. That being said, holy fuckballs. I am so tired of seeing her. Between her interviews and her acceptance speeches I am SO DONE with her. I am thrilled she doesn't have a movie lined up to begin shooting until fall and that means we'll not hear anything from her until she presents at next years awards. She tries so hard to be humble, but like pretending to be humble all season was her worst performance ever. She deserved the award, she knew she deserved it, we all knew she deserved it, I wish she would have OWNED IT. Instead of "oh golly gee, you think I did good?" for months. Shutthefuckup, you know you rocked it. 

The dress you chose however, you did not rock. That was horrible. I know that it's the way the dress is made that is making you look like you have nips for days, but honey- that's the least of your concern. From the color to the fit to the design to the jewelry not matching, ICK. And grow your hair back out. \

Nugget News

Noelle has learned how to roll over! Actually, that's the second most awesome thing- she's actually sleeping in her crib now! It took 3 and a half months but she FINALLY made it to an official crib sleeper!!

Her first roll!!

 And she is currently this cute:

Is love dead?

Michelle Williams and Jason Segel broke up. This gives me a lot of feels and pretty much makes me a sad panda. I thought they'd go the distance. She comes across as so serious a lot of the time, that it made me happy that he was with her to make her laugh. Plus, he was so big and she was so little that they were just cute together. Did you see him with her daughter, Matilda? SO STINKIN' CUTE! They say the relationship ended because of the distance, and I hope one day maybe they'll live on the same coast and make it work. 

AND NOW, THE MOST HORRIBLE THING I'VE EVER SEEN:

Lampreys

Christ almighty guys, this is a thing that EXSISTS?! I saw this picture that a dude took after he speared that giant bastard and I had to Google that this was a real thing and not like a grossly photo shopped penis. 

LOOK AT ALL OF THEM

Does Jesus hate us? Is that why these were created? Or is this just some of Satan's sperm? Either way: